2009. A symbol is an object, action, or event that represents something or that creates a range
of associations beyond itself. In literary works a symbol can express an idea, clarify meaning,
or enlarge literal meaning. Select a novel or play and, focusing on one symbol, write an essay
analyzing how that symbol functions in the work and what it reveals about the characters or
themes of the work as a whole. Do not merely summarize the plot.
Essay 3A; Score: 9
As a whole, Essay 3A is fairly well done and shows the
symbolism of the wild duck in The Wild
Duck. It prevented some good arguments backed by relevant details despite
there being a strong thesis. The AP readers gave this essay a 9, but I would
rank it more around a high 7 to middle 8. While the body paragraphs of this
essay were good, strong even, the introduction and conclusion paragraphs were
very weak. This thesis was not only weak but also vague, providing little
support for a good essay, which makes it surprising that a good essay could
even come from it. Not only did the student create a poor thesis statement, but
I was a little confused with what exactly the wild duck was symbolizing. Maybe
I was just missing something, but I don’t see how if the duck meant something
different to every member of the family how it could symbolize the development of
characters, especially when the only character development I saw explained in
this essay was that of Greggers. Based on the weak intro and conclusion paragraphs
and the poorly written thesis statement, I would be inclined to give this essay
a score of 7 or 8, not a 9 like the AP readers.
Essay 3B; Score: 6
Essay 3B analyzes the symbolism of lampshades in A Streetcar Named Desire and isn’t too
bad, though it definitely is nothing to get excited about. The student seems to
understand the symbolism of the lampshade, which can be seen near the end of
the essay, but has some trouble articulating the symbolism on a deeper level in
the beginning. By going into the deeper meaning of the lampshade, Blanche never having
gotten over her lost love, the student shows a higher understanding of the
symbolism. Though it was slow to get through and not as well done as the last
body paragraph and argument in this essay, I liked how the student talked about
the surface symbolism of the lampshade. I feel it was a smart move to address
both aspects of the symbolism and by analyzing both sides of it the student
demonstrated a higher understanding of the lampshade symbolism. The AP readers
gave this essay a six, which I can agree to, though I think an argument could
also be made for a low 7.
Essay 3B; Score: 4
There were some pretty big problems in Essay 3C
which “explains” the symbolism of the machete in Things Fall Apart. First of all, there was no real point to this
essay. While the thesis wasn’t absolutely terrible, the student did little to
expand upon it or prove it in the essay. Every paragraph seemed to show the
machete symbolizing a different thing: power, masculinity, survival, and pride.
If the student had focused on one of these aspects rather than all of them, and
had actually taken the time to really dig in and analyze the symbol, this essay
could have been something. As it was, trying to show every aspect of the
machete greatly detracted from the essay and caused it to be unfocused.
Personally, I was greatly irritated by the “conclusion” of this essay. You can’t
introduce something new in a conclusion, and you definitely cannot be saying
one thing the entire essay and then at the last second switch gears and say
something different. This is exactly what happened as the student had been
using the essay to show the machete as a power symbol and then at the end claim
that “it symbolizes pride. Most of all.” Frankly I’m surprised that this essay
got a 4, as I would have given it a 2 or 3. Because of its lack of focus, weak arguments,
and poor writing, I would say this essay is an example of what not to do for an
AP essay.
ReplyDeleteHi Caitlin,
First of all thank you for putting the actual prompt and the score the essay received from the College Board in your post. It’s easier to understand your critiques of the essays that way. The scoring surprises me for the essays. From what you described the 3A was not worthy of a 9, but then there are essays that receive 7/8 and seem to have less issues than 3A. The scoring is more surprising because the distinction the scoring guideline makes is that “essays scored a 9 reveal more sophisticated analysis and more effective control of language than do essays scored an 8”. You do a good job of pointing out and explaining what the essays are missing, especially when it comes to the analysis of the literature. You might want to include something about the organization/structure of the essays too, other than that good job.
Dear Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteYeah I like that you put the prompt right there, too! That's a good idea. I'm really surprised that an essay which received a perfect score would have been so vague and left you still without an answer to the prompt. That is puzzling; I'm not sure what to make of that. Based on your description of the first and second essays, I almost get the impression that they care more about how well written the essay is than the actual content. But that doesn't seem right... The graders are people who really know what they're talking about (or they should be, at least) so I would think content would be crucial. The third essay was simply wrong so it received a poor score. But ambiguity is okay?
Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteAs we continue to analyze these open prompt essays, it seems to me that because sometimes we have not read the various works that the students are referring to, it can be difficult for us to properly understand the claims that they are making. That said, I suppose the point of writing these responses on the AP exam are to convey what you as the reader have interpreted from the story to the grader. Because of this I completely agree with your decision to give the essay a 7 or 8; if you can't understand it, it's not doing its job as an essay. Other than that, I would advise that you include some quote from the writings themselves to support your claims. It helps not only to help the comprehension of the readers of your critiques but also works to make your arguments stronger in general. Overall this was a good response to the student essays, excellent work!